Introducing HowAboutWe’s Date Reporters, a new series featuring real, live singles from all over the country who are giving you a peak into their personal experiences as they try HowAboutWe for the first time. To catch up on all the action, go here.
Listen: The truth is, I’m exhausted. After graduating college it became abundantly clear not only how difficult it is to meet people in this city, but furthermore, how few people I meet at a bar that I have anything in common with (besides perhaps our affinity for the same brand of Vodka, or knowledge of every lyric to that Carly Rae Jepsen song).
Every Friday and Saturday night with my girlfriends eventually came down to the question of “Where do we go to meet guys?” And almost every weekend, we were disappointed. Even the ones who seemed promising at the start — and I do recall a few “I met the love of my life at Clery’s last night” — were either complete jerks or incapable of following through.
So I went back to the drawing board. “Your problem,” my mother sighed over the phone after I whined about the latest freak-show I met at Tia’s, “is that you’re meeting people at bars, when they’re hammered.” I hate to admit when my mother’s right, but she hit the nail on the head. “What do you suggest I do? Meet guys at the women’s boutique I work at? At the gym while I’m sweating like a farm animal?” She didn’t quite have a solution for me.
The thing is, there is no perfect place or time to meet someone you’ll hit it off with. I know plenty of women who have met their boyfriends and husbands at a bar. Or through friends, volunteering or work. And while I used to scoff at dating sites, I also know a few amazing couples who met via a healthy Internet connection.
So I gave it a shot. I tried a few other sites and went on a string of horrendous first dates: meeting the likes of a Utah-raised Mormon horse masseuse with a pedophile’s mustache, an Aussie old enough to be my father and my personal favorite: a Rush Limbaugh-loving chain-smoker studying mortuary science. It didn’t take long to de-activate every single account. But when I thought about it: the problem with these dates was that they were based solely on superficial profiles that told me nothing about the people behind them. Planning a date tells you a lot about a person, and going on a date that you both find intriguing already sets you up for potential success. Sometimes the guys (or girls) you’d normally hit on at a cocktail lounge aren’t the ones you’d ever find common ground with over a round of mini-golf.
How about we…keep an open mind? How about we… do something completely outrageous and different than we’ve ever done before? I’m turning 24 this year, and I don’t want to commit to anything I can’t follow through on. I’ve had so many resolutions that I wasn’t able to fulfill and only ended up feeling worse for being unrealistic. But I will commit to this: not closing any doors. That means letting go of judgement, both of myself and of other people, and trying new things. So here I am. How about we… give this another shot? Stay tuned for next week, when I’ll go into creating my first profile.
Becca Strong is a stylist by day and a writer/pool shark by night. She enjoys drinking bourbon or anything out of a mason jar and iced coffee in the dead of winte. She was the captain of her Hip Hop team in high school, so don’t be surprised when she starts busting a move to Tyga unexpectedly. She’s still on the hunt for a man who loves dogs, knows how to make a mean chili and isn’t afraid to sing karaoke at the Hong Kong at 2am.