Date Reporters

Some Thoughts on Dating in LA vs. Dating in NYC

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This is the last post from our Los Angeles-based Date Reporter Rachel Nina Schwartz before she heads to New York City. Catch up on her story here and stay tuned for possible guest spots in the future. In this post she covers what she learned from a summer of west-coast dating.

As the summer winds to a close —  everyone coming back from a long weekend out of town, catching the last bits of sunshine, saltwater, fresh air, lobster rolls, natural highlights, tanlines and seasonal hookups — I’ve had a few moments to reflect on my dating experience in LA these past few months.

When I first moved out here back in June, I must confess, my dating life was a bit of a disaster. A two year relationship had just ended in the most awful, hurtful, tragic way you can possibly imagine. I was shattered and fragile and nothing anyone was going to say could help. I came to LA to hit the reset button, to enjoy the unparalleled weather, the ten minute drive to a gorgeous beach, to be with old friends and my sisters and have some peace and quiet for work. New York affords one many things, but a setting in which to focus and recalibrate is not one of them. I did not expect to be dating while I was out here.

And yet, despite the precarious state of my heart, I chose to accept many of the invitations sent my way. The men I have met in the past three months have quite honestly been some of the most respectful, caring, straightforward humans I have ever encountered. A few I met online, others in real life out and about or through friends, but all of them share these amazing positive attributes. Maybe the universe was making sure I got what I needed in my fragile condition (care, patience, affection) after having dealt me such a tough hand earlier in the year? Regardless, I jumped right in and ended up surfing, motorcycle riding, horseback riding, bike riding, dancing, ocean swimming, cooking, playing guitar, and going for walks with some amazing guys.  Even with an expiration date of summer’s end, we were able to slow down, relax and enjoy our time together

And probably none of those things would I have done in New York. No one has a patio larger than his apartment with great outdoor furniture and a grill to make salmon burgers on in the city. No one in New York can pick you up on his motorcycle and go for a super romantic Sunday night drive to Malibu. I will miss these elements of dating in LA when I return to the east coast next week (where everyone talks about work all the time and most guys idea of a good date is drinks at any bar close to his house).

But, I can at least bring back a bit of this LA dating experience with me and try to be the change I want to see (did Ghandi date?). No longer will I be content with an after-work happy hour drink at a dingy spot in the East Village! I will prefer more imagination and activity and less alcohol. How I will find men in New York who are as fit and tan and healthy as the men here though is another problem entirely. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

As the summer winds to a close- everyone heading out of town for the long weekend, eager to catch the last bits of sunshine, saltwater, fresh air, lobster rolls, natural highlights, tanlines and seasonal hookups- I’ve had a few moments to reflect on my dating experience in LA these past few months.

When I first moved out here back in June, I must confess, my dating life was a bit of a disaster. A two year relationship had just ended in the most awful, hurtful, tragic way you can possibly imagine. I was shattered and fragile and nothing anyone was going to say could help. I came to LA to hit the reset button, to enjoy the unparalleled weather, the ten minute drive to a gorgeous beach, to be with old friends and my sisters and have some peace and quiet for work. New York affords one many things, but a setting in which to focus and recalibrate is not one of them. I did not expect to be dating while I was out here.

And yet, despite the precarious state of my heart, I chose to accept many of the invitations sent my way. The men I have met in the past three months have quite honestly been some of the most respectful, caring, straightforward humans I have ever encountered. A few I met online, others in real life out and about or through friends but all of them share these amazing positive attributes. Maybe the universe was making sure I got what I needed in my fragile condition (care, patience, affection) after having dealt me such a tough hand earlier in the year? Regardless, I jumped right in and ended up surfing, motorcycle riding, horseback riding, bike riding, dancing, ocean swimming, cooking, playing guitar, and going for walks with some amazing guys.  Even with an expiration date of summer’s end, we were able to slow down, relax and enjoy our time together

And probably none of those things would I have done in New York. No one has a patio larger than his apartment with great outdoor furniture and a grill to make salmon burgers on in the city. No one in New York can pick you up on his motorcycle and go for a super romantic Sunday night drive to Malibu. I will miss these elements of dating in LA when I return to the east coast next week (where everyone talks about work all the time and most guys idea of a good date is drinks at any bar close to his house).

But, I can at least bring back a bit of this LA dating experience with me and try to be the change I want to see (did Ghandi date?). No longer will I be content with an after-work happy hour drink at a dingy spot in the East Village! I will prefer more imagination and activity and less alcohol. How I will find men in New York who are as fit and tan and healthy as the men here though is another problem entirely. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Rachel Nina Schwartz is a designer based in New York who is currently in LA for the summer, where she will be writing about her dating experiences. She looks forward to learning how to surf and reveling in a climate conducive to good hair days. Check out her other project, StateofDate.com.

 

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