Modern Love

Find Your Facebook Soulmate with MTV’s Match Machine

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Stop what you’re doing and click this link immediately. In support of its strange new dating show “Are You the One,” which premieres on Friday, MTV has given us an early Valentine’s Day present: the Match Machine, an app that chooses your “perfect match” from your Facebook friends.

Does it work? The Date Report’s (mostly female) staff report plenty of gay roommates, gay best friends, gay ex-roommates, and one “big frat bro” among their results. Lo and behold, when I tried the Match Machine, it churned out my boyfriend, Sam, messily eating chocolate cake in all his adorable dumb-butt glory. (Am I remiss in posting my boyfriend’s full name and photo on the Internet? Yes? No? Maybe? Well, that’s love. Sorry, bb.) When I selected female matches only, MTV informed me that I belong with Iya, my college roommate and very dear friend.

Could the Match Machine be cheating? After all, Sam and I are in a public Facebook relationship — my friend Jackie was matched with her boyfriend under the same circumstances. In the interest of science, Sam and I temporarily listed ourselves as single and tried again. Same result.

QED: True luv 4ever.