Yes Please

My Name Is Mateo, The Naked, Unicorn-Riding Tinder Match Of Your Dreams

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Mateo, Tinder's Sexiest WeirdoOne user of the image hosting site Imgr recently stumbled up on this stud, Mateo, while looking for new mates on the dating app Tinder. Several websites have posted the photo, but we are the first one to have an actual article* from Mateo. Listen to his powerful entreaties and marvel at his virulence.

Hello, my love, my name is Mateo and I’ve been waiting for you.

Come, hop aboard Lucifer, my magnificent steed, and allow me to take you to my home in the magical land beyond the stars. Do you like my amulet? I made it out of metal I found in front of a dollar store. It’s connected to my heart, and it told me that you and I are sexual soulmates. Do you feel it? I sure do. That’s why I smell like this. I let off pheromones when I’m aroused.

Please, I know I’m messaging you on Tinder, and we have yet to meet in person, but let me move in with you. I can’t pay rent, but I’m a generous lover. I promise I won’t kill you. Please swipe right. You know the clouds are whispering for you to do it.

*You know we made this up, right?

[h/t Daily Dot]