In Vulture’s (quite excellent and insightful) recap of the latest episode of The New Girl, one sentence especially jumped out at me.
“Nick defends Julia as “one of those girls who doesn’t have a lot of girlfriends because she thinks like a guy.” Obviously, this is a huge red flag: Girls who don’t like other girls are the worst, in the logic of New Girl and, also, in life..”
This is true, this is true, this is so damn true. (In general.)
Bad for Guys…
Guys, you might not really be bothered by a girl’s lack of close female relationships: there’s something really appealing about a low-maintenance girl who can hold her own with all your guy friends. But a girl who has no girl friends whatsoever should set off warning bells. (We don’t mean a tomboy…tomboys have female friends! This is something more extreme.)
What is it about her that prevents her from being able to relate and befriend other women? Is attention from guys so important to her that she insists on surrounding herself with them at all times? Is being the girl who hangs with the boys a too-integral part of her identity? And, even if you aren’t the jealous type, are you really going to be okay with her hanging out and confiding in other guys, night after night after night? Which is not to say that a woman can’t have platonic male friends. But if you think she’s using male attention to fulfill something, well, it’s probably at least worth a talk.
Maybe it’ll turn out that she’s simply not that friendly, but she’s a perfect girlfriend to you, which is ultimately all that really matters. A red flag isn’t a “Do Not Pass Go”; it simply means slow down and proceed with caution. If you notice your girlfriend solely surrounds herself with men, you might want to ask yourself why.
Bad For Girls
Okay, let’s not beat around the bush: for women who date men, women with no female friends are The Worst.
This is the woman who will have no qualms about flirting with the guy you’ve been talking to all night at the party.
This is the one who will break every rule of Girl Code.
This is the woman with whom your boyfriend will cheat on you, (not that it’s her fault, it’s his fault, of course).
This is the woman who won’t ever set you up with her cute single friend, even though she isn’t in love with him, even though she has a boyfriend.
This is the woman who is BFF with your boyfriend, but who will make absolutely no effort to befriend you. And you have tried.
This is the woman who is crazy territorial about the 6 or 7 guys she is BFF with, and will never attempt to include you in the group because there is only room for one woman in their lives.
This woman is kryptonite for your dating life, and though you might spend countless car rides home stewing about her to a guy, he will never, ever, see your point. “What, Kelly? I don’t see why you hate her so much, she’s nice!”
No, no, girls, stay away from this woman. Your dating life will be better for it.