Hey Guys, Your Fancy Sports Cars Might Be Ruining Your Dating Life

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Gentlemen, here is the good news: you do not need to buy a fancy car to attract a nice lady. Based on the results of a Harris poll commissioned by dating site AnastasiaDate (find your lost Russian tsarina today!), women would actually prefer you not drive a fancy car. Apparently, the majority of women “associate fancy cars with negative character traits” — they’re arrogant show-offs, women say, and also probably insecure. More than a third of ladies think “exotic” wheels mean a guy is compensating for something. You know who is not compensating for something? A guy with a Prius.

These findings are consistent with my long-held belief that cars are boring and I do not care about them. As a woman, my primary interest is that a man’s car goes forward. Also, in reverse. That’s it. In a perfect world, it is also up to contemporary safety standards and has both working seat belts and working airbags, but really, I’m not picky. And neither, it seems, are most other women. The survey suggests that only a fifth of ladies have ever been actively attracted to a dude because of his wheels, which means that your fancy car is far, far more likely to be a liability than to get you laid.

Given this new information, I can only imagine a nation full of upstanding young men looking to offload their Porsches and Audis and BMWs as fast as possible. To them, I would like to offer my services. If your luxury car is ruining your romantic life — and it is — I will be more than happy to take it off your hands. It will be a sacrifice for me, but I do what I can.