Your man wants to believe he’s Superman, especially when it comes to his performance in the bedroom. When it comes to spicing things up and communicating your sex needs, get the conversation going in the right direction — UP! — by avoiding these specifics statements that make only make your stud feel like a dud…
1. “You’ve never gotten me off.” Blaming him for your orgasmic difficulties will leave your superhero feeling like a complete zero. The truth is 33-50 percent of women experience orgasm infrequently and 10- 15 percent of us have never even reached the “Big O.” Instead, come up with a list of ways he could make you more comfortable in the boudoir (my personal favorite is a full body massage). Many of our orgasmic problems come from anxiety and worry.
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2. “I faked it.” The truth is out! Research has found that 80 percent of women fake orgasm during intercourse at least half of the time, but he definitely does not want to think that you are a part of that statistic. How about you stop faking it altogether and work together on getting there for real?
3. “Are you done already?” Although he may want to last forever, it is not always that easy. Telling him he should last longer will only make him anxious next time, which can lead to premature ejaculation or turn him into Mr. Softee. If he’s done before you are, have him finish you off another way. And if it becomes a recurring issue? It’s time to talk.
4. “It could be bigger.” The biggest thing on his mind is if his member measures up. Never belittle the little, medium or big man. There’s nothing he can do about the junk in his trunks.
5. “You never care about my needs.” Chances are you are a priority, as most men rate their sexual experience highly when they believe they have completely pleased their partner. If your needs aren’t being met, be sure you’ve communicated them clearly. If he genuinely does not care about your needs, don’t waste your breath telling him — cut and run, sister.
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6. “My ex did ____ better.” Unless you’re trying to break up with him in the meanest way possible, why? Why would you say this? No.
7. “I’m bored.” Maybe it’s time to try something different, but this statement will only make him believe that you are tired of him and want someone new.
8. “I’d rather use a toy.” Yes, toys can be a lot of fun to play with and you should absolutely experiment with them in the sack, but no one — man or woman — wants to play second fiddle to a battery operated device.
9. “I was with someone else yesterday.” He may not expect you to be the Virgin Queen, but some information is better left unsaid.
10. “Do you think I’m fat?” There is no worse place to deal with self-esteem or body image issues than the sack. He wants you to feel sexy, wanted and beautiful when you are about to get it on — and you should feel like the goddess you are, regardless of any cellulite you have on your butt. Deal with your insecurities at another time or the bad sex that follows will give you even more to worry about.
–By Tiffanie Drayton
This post originally appeared on The Frisky.