Advice

Online Dating 101: Something In Your Date Has To Be Specific

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Here’s a quick tip for users posting dates on HowAboutWe: In order to get the most responses to your date, at least one element of your date has to be specific. Even if the rest of your date is pretty vague, you should anchor it with either a specific location, specific date, or specific activity.

For example, here’s a date recently proposed by a 30-year-old guy in Brooklyn:

“How about we…dance for 6 hrs non-stop.”

The date might be fun, but doesn’t really provide enough detail to motivate a dance-loving girl to respond to him. But, if he were to include one more detail, about anything, really…

 

How about we… dance for 6 hrs non-stop at Dark Room in the East Village.
How about we… dance for 6 hrs non-stop to celebrate the summer solstice.
How about we… dance for 6 hrs non-stop at a salsa club.

…then the respondent has more concrete information about what the date would involve, and is therefore more likely to respond.

Same thing with this date, proposed by a woman in Chicago:

“How about we… catch an upcoming band/artist.”

Way too general — does she mean a local jazz artist, or Lady Gaga’s tour? Is she picturing a summer music festival or an indie rock venue? Being open-minded and interested in a lot of different things is definitely an asset in dating, but in this stage of the game, you’re better off making some sort of a definite statement: I like this kind of music, I like these kinds of dates. Assertive statements like this will make you stand out from the rest.

You can still make your date pretty general in terms of taste, but adding a few specifics makes your dates that much more original:

How about we… catch a local band at Fireside?
How about we… pick a random concert listing from Red Eye and go see it?

Good luck, be creative, and stay specific!