Science just keeps on cranking out helpful little studies about you and how you date. This time, researchers at the University of Kansas have determined that you flirt in one of five unique ways: traditional, physical, polite, sincere or playful.
But which particular courtship/pickup style do you use? And how do you tell? And why would you want to know anyway?
Understanding the methods that you’ve come to use naturally, just because of who you are, can help you improve your game. Plus, it might give you some insight into why you attract the kind of people you do, and how to attract the people you want.
So, which description rings most true for you?
You’ve been told that you’re old-fashioned and you don’t mind hearing it. When you watch Mad Men, in spite the obvious shocking anachronisms, it seems kind of… right. Even if you don’t necessarily believe that men should always be the pursuer and never vice-versa, you act that way and you respond when others act in kind.
You give them the ol’ smoldering eyes, the low, sultry voice. You touch your lips and neck a lot when you talk to them. You slowly rub your thumb over their knuckles, caressing each one, when you hold their hand. You’re kind of prone to saying things like “Dammmnnn,” or “Mmmmhmmmm.” When you flirt, your every move seems to be saying “What I wouldn’t do to you!”
Basically, you know what you’re in it for and so do they.
You think that there are certain things that people say and certain things they just don’t. Ever. You’ll respond when you are treated with respect and you move slowly when you are the pursuer.
You’re above board. You don’t play games, and you’d never employ a pick-up strategy because that’s not how you form a strong emotional connection. Which is what real relationships are based on, duh. (Except you probably wouldn’t say “Duh.”)
You don’t just flirt, you are a flirt. You can’t help yourself. You’re just having fun. You’re less concerned with whether or not it leads to anything, long or short term, than whether or not your flirtee is vibing with you in that moment.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve done every single one of these types of flirting. (Yeah, even Polite.) Which type I am depends heavily on the situation. And how much I’ve had to drink. And how recently I’ve ended a relationship. The list goes on.
So, while not everyone might comfortably into one of these flirt-boxes, it can still be useful to know what the methods are and when we are using which. For example, if you tend to be more of a Physical type, but find yourself being Sincere? I think that’s called “actually liking someone.”
That’s good to know, right?