Turns out, “never-nude” isn’t just a fake condition made up for Tobias Fünke on Arrested Development. Gymnophobia, or the fear of being naked, is a real affliction.
In an essay for Marie-Claire, Elise Nersesian-Solé writes about dating a guy who absolutely refused to take off his shirt – after sex, after a shower, even at the beach.
If she tried to take off his shirt, he’d pull it back on. Even though the two dated for a year, he refused to be seen naked from the torso up.
Do you think you’d be able to deal with dating a never-nude? Nersesian-Solé couldn’t: she dumped him after a year. But while actual never-nudes are probably few and far between, this example of extreme modesty in the bedroom, and the ramifications thereof, are pertinent to anyone with a sex life.
“His insecurity made me hyper-focus on my own flaws, and I became shy about my body. Men get frustrated with women who cover up in bed, and now I know why. Without that raw and wild abandon that sex requires in order to be satisfying, I found it impossible to relax so I could focus on what really counts during sex.”
You know that never-nude inside of you, the one that always tries to strategically be covered in sheets while getting dressed, and who’s hand automatically reaches for the light switch while things are getting hot and heavy? It’s time to shut him or her down. These “subtle” moves only serve to highlight your issues with yourself, rather than camouflage them.
Next time you get the urge to unnecessarily cover-up in bed, conjure up this image of Tobias Fünke and his never-nude jorts:
Come on, you’re better than that.