‘He’s like Sour Patch Kids: Sour, Sweet, Gone’: Redditors Describe Their Exes as Food

Pin it

We all have exes; it’s a valuable part of growing up. As my mom always said, “You have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince.” It’s good to have those experiences, because dating the wrong person helps you figure out when you’ve found the right person. Sometimes we’re bitter about our experiences, and sometimes we’re able to stay friends.

In responding to the question,¬†“If You Could Describe Your Ex as a Piece of Food, What Would it Be?”, Reddit commenters channeled however they were feeling about their exes into creative expression. The responses are thoughtful, cathartic, and largely hilarious. Here are the best of the bunch:

“As an oatmeal raisin cookie. At first, you think it’s a chocolate chip cookie and you’re so fucking excited to eat it. Then you take a huge bite and realize it’s not what you thought it was, and isn’t nearly as good as you hoped it would be. You find that you’ve ruined your appetite on an oatmeal raisin cookie, and then live with the knowledge that others will also be fooled by his oatmeal deception.”

“Wings.¬†Because at first they’re hot and leave you sticky-fingered and satisfied, but burn your ass on the way out.”

“Fugu (Japanese Puffer Fish) – best thing you’ve ever had and then suddenly it stops your heart.”

“Eggnog. Due to the situation (studying abroad) I knew we only had a short time together, yet I wound up falling completely in love.”

“Milk. The first thing I ever tasted, and thought I couldn’t live without. But I weaned myself and now I don’t miss it, though I think of it fondly.”

“He’s like Sour Patch Kids: Sour, Sweet, Gone.”

“Ramen – Extremely cheap, and has been eaten by every single college student across the country at one point or another.”

“Caviar, cost me a bunch and wasn’t worth it.”

“Chris was like McDonald’s. He seemed really awesome when I was young, but as I grew up, I realized how depressingly mediocre and unhealthy he was for me.”

Read more from Reddit here.