How to Be a Couple Your Single Friends Still Want To Be Aroundby Laura Willcox on September 12, 2013
So you’re in love. You’re no longer an “I”, you’ve become a “we.” Your idea of a perfect Saturday night is staying in and watching a movie and you think all weddings are super romantic and never a huge financial burden. Unfortunately, these blissful traits are exactly why you haven’t seen any of your single friends in months. Frankly, you’ve become insufferable to be around.
Sure, it’s fun to get together with your couple friends and say things to each other like, “Jason is the same way! He NEVER puts the cap back on the toothbrush! Haha!” but eventually you’re going to want to hang out with your single friends as a couple too. This is very doable, all it takes is a little self-awareness. In other words, when hanging two on one, it’s important to remember waaaay back when to a time when you were single.
First of all, keep the PDA to a non-existent level. Nothing will make a single friend feel more like a third wheel than sitting there watching you give each other little pecks on the cheek, rubbing each other’s backs, or worst of all, having a tickle fight. As a general rule of thumb your single friends should NEVER be exposed to your tickle fights. EVER. In that same vein, always keep your pet names for each other private, especially if they are often delivered in a cutesy baby voice. If you find that to be difficult, try pretending that your pet names are actually the names of undercover CIA agents and that if you reveal them to the general public you’ll go to prison forever.
Don’t constantly ask your single friend about their love life. Don’t try to set them up with people. Don’t try to figure out why they are still single. Don’t do any of these things unless they ask you to. Then fire away! But otherwise, it can be a big buzzkill to talk to two happy people about how frustrating the dating scene is because they simply can’t relate. So unless your friend brings it up, stick to talking about one of the thousands of other topics that make life interesting, like Miley Cyrus or whether or not God exists.
One of the biggest differences between a contentedly coupled person and a single person is that coupled people can sometimes lose a sense of individuality. All that “we” time means you forget what it’s like to go to a party by yourself and actually make conversation with strangers without the safety net of your partner standing there next to you. Be the kind of couple that is okay with going to a social gathering and not remaining glued to each other’s side. Make time for a girl’s night out here and there. Sometimes your friends don’t want two for the price of one – sometimes they just want to hang out with you.
At the end of the day, we all want to feel included. Couples are inherently exclusive to anyone but the couple so sometimes hanging out with one can feel like you’re back in middle school, hanging out with Bethany and Avery who keep on bringing up inside jokes that you don’t understand. It sucks and it’s boring! No one cares that you once saw the guy you had a crush on at Sephora, Avery! So stop bringing it up like it was a major event! God!
Basically, the best way to be one of those couples that doesn’t alienate all their single friends is to simply accept that your coupledom is annoying to others and treat your single friends the way you’d want to be treated if you were third wheeling it. And then when your single friend finally starts dating someone you guys can DOUBLE DAAAAATE!!!!
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- The 8 Stages of Being The Only Single Friend