When you want something bad enough, it really pays to go the extra mile. Reddit user Thelegender created this eight-slide Powerpoint presentation to convince you to let him (or her) touch your butt. By pointing out the reasons why this request is completely logical, what you’re missing out on, and the downsides, he actually drives home some legitimate points. We love that this is non-gender-specific, so it could be used to snare anyone of any sexual orientation. See, all we want is to touch butts!
Oh, and there are a cat graphics, so it’s basically a no brainer. OK, Thelegender, when do you want to collect?