Last May, Wyoming car salesman David Dell spoke with a female customer at Teton Motors, the dealership where he worked. At the end of their meeting, he handed her a business card with a penis drawn on it. Six months later, when the woman contacted the dealership about a car she’d seen on their website, she insisted that she be assigned to another salesman, citing the penis incident. Dell was promptly fired.
Dell’s former employer is now challenging the state Unemployment Insurance Commission’s decision that the company must pay his unemployment benefits. Dell claims he wasn’t aware that the card he gave the customer had a penis on it, which, if true, is actually even weirder than if this were a deeply misguided attempt at seduction. Did he keep a rainy day supply of penis-decorated cards neatly tucked away in a desk drawer? If so, who had he intended to give them to?
Unfortunately, the original sketch – which, according to Dell’s version of events, was the work of an office prankster – has not been made public. The Date Report’s in-house team of forensic scientists suggests that it probably looked exactly like this.