Redditor Alyxchosen told her friend she’d her give her $20 if she could “draw” the shape of a penis by running with her Nike+ app, which uses GPS to graph the path the wearer takes. Amazingly, she pulled it off, and Alyxchosen dutifully paid up.
I have two thoughts. First, all football fields should have enormous blue dicks emblazoned on them at all times, for my personal amusement. Second, this is an artform, and should be celebrated accordingly. If we have room for rhythmic gymnastics, dressage, and racewalking (yes, racewalking) in the Olympics, how about 800m portraiture? Figure skating started by actually drawing figures on ice – why not draw genitals on wide swaths of land? I bet we can even get Nike to sponsor it.