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Intoxicated Train Passenger Attempts to Have Sex with a Drinks Cart

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drinking on the train for my leaving do

Most people occupy themselves on long journeys by napping, listening to music, or tucking into a good book. Andrew Davidson has sex with drinks carts.

The 25-year-old Davidson achieved what his lawyer ambiguously describes as a “legal high” while riding a train in Scotland. After his fellow human passengers refused his romantic advances (their loss, clearly), he turned his affections elsewhere. Davidson shouted “I want to kiss you” as he humped an on-board drinks cart, which is actually sort of a romantic thing to say, given that you’re forcibly mounting a drinks cart.

Davidson, who has been ordered to complete 100 hours of community service, publicly apologized for his disturbing behavior. Hopefully he’ll meet a nice bicycle, wagon or other irresistibly wheeled object and settle down soon.

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