This Seemingly Normal Church Looks Exactly Like a Penis From Above

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Google Earth has done it again. That magical, perma-creeping purveyor of clumsy cyclists, possible murder scenes, and public sex-havers recently turned up a new aerial-view gem – the unassuming Christian Science Church in Dixon, Illinois.

Drumroll, please:

Penis church

Yep. That’s a penis. And testicles. And green, bushy pubic hair. Dicks-on – I mean, Dixon – is also known as the birthplace of Ronald Reagan, which is either really weird or makes perfect sense, depending on how you look at it. Founded in 1903, the Christian Science Church’s motto is “rising up,” which, just, come on. Actually, “come on” would itself make an okay motto for a dong-shaped church.

The building’s unusual shape was apparently intentional, if not intentionally phallic. The distinct curve was designed to preserve a beautiful oak tree (i.e., the green sky-pubes). Too bad if Penis Church were really an accidental miracle of nature, that might be the best evidence for the existence of a higher power yet.