Some of comedy’s greatest characters are at their best with a drink in hand. Some are witty. Some are wild. Not all of them are people we’d want to hang out with (drinking with Frank Gallagher from Shameless would be too enabling, for example). These fifteen, though, are people for whom we’d definitely make time to meet at the bar.
Ilana Wexler (Broad City)
You never know what Ilana’s going to do, but you know it’s going to be crazy. Alcohol isn’t her substance of choice, but if we were to go out drinking with her, we’d probably end up treasure hunting in a subway tunnel. Using an old-timey lantern to light our path. While wearing tuxedos.
Norm Peterson (Cheers)
Norm! Norm is reliable. You know that if you go to Cheers, he’ll be there, and that’s comforting. He’s a big part of the “everybody” in “the place where everybody knows your name.” He’s not the liveliest drinking buddy, but he has his surprising moments where he shows up in a toga or dances naked on the bar.
Niles Crane (Frasier)
Niles is an uptight, finicky snob, sure, but he’s so damn charming about it. If we’re hanging out with Niles, we know we’re going to eat filet mignon and drink only the finest sherry. His quick wit and his innuendos that fall just on the right side of the line make him a stimulating conversationalist, someone who’s definitely good at a cocktail party.
Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
Who wouldn’t want to head to Moe’s and get a frosty mug of Duff with America’s greatest TV dad? Niles Crane, probably, but he just can’t get on Homer’s level. Homer’s a simple man who knows what he loves: his family, his city, and beer. Mmmm, beer.
Tracy Jordan (30 Rock)
Tracy Jordan took partying to a level never seen before. He’s willing to cut off his own foot when he gets an ankle monitor, that’s how dedicated to partying he is. Many of his shenanigans are taken straight from the life of Tracy Morgan, whose shirtless partying exploits are infamous and legendary.
Lucille Bluth (Arrested Development)
We want to be like Lucille Bluth when we grow up, always with a drink in our hand and a wink in our eye. She may be a criminal mastermind who makes life miserable for everyone around her, but she’s witty! Maybe if we make a good enough martini, we can stay on her good side so we don’t get tongue-lashed too badly.
Kenny Powers (Eastbound & Down)
We wanna hang out with Kenny Powers because he’s such a terrible person. He’s rude, selfish, and unstable, but there’s still something endearing about him. And he’s hysterically funny, both on purpose and unintentionally. We’d get abused verbally and possibly physically, but it would be worth it to say we partied with La Flama Blanca.
Stefon (Saturday Night Live)
Stefon could take us to New York’s hottest clubs, like MUNCH, LaGuardia Airport’s newest haunted house party. Be prepared for a very long night. Like lasts-for-a-week long. It would be so much fun, we’d have a really hard time trying not to crack up.
Winston Bishop (New Girl)
All the New Girl guys know how to have a good time, but observant, (mostly) reasonable Winston seems like he’d just be easier to chill with than Nick or Schmidt or Coach. He likes to help people. He loves pranks. And he could at least try to teach us the rules of True American.
Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)
Barney is a hedonist: fine suits, the company of beautiful women, laser tag. He’s a work-hard, play-harder type who makes an excellent wingman. He has the most fun creating a good time for his friends, and even though they make fun of his douchery, they love him.
Frank Reynolds (It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia)
Frank doesn’t know how many years left he has, so he’s gonna get real weird with it. It was his idea to put wine in Diet Coke cans. What else do you need to know?
Anders Holmvik (Workaholics)
Adam’s a little needy and Blake’s a little spacey. Ders is the glue that holds the Workaholics guys’ party together. All we need to do is come up with a crazy idea, and Anders will help us implement it.
Phil Dunphy (Modern Family)
He’s a goofy dad. You know what, though? Goofy dads are cool. They grill meat, they like beer, they have great jokes. Phil is the ultimate goofy dad. And you know he’d appreciate getting away from all that family stuff for a drink.
Leslie Knope (Parks & Recreation)
Leslie is a joyful drunk. She gets frisky, makes a lot of spoonerisms, and sings “Poker Face” in the most hilarious way possible. Sometimes when we drink we talk about our dreams, what we’d like to do but don’t. If we were at the bar with Leslie, though, she’d give us a pep talk and then we’d be off following through.
Ron Swanson (Parks & Recreation)
Sometimes you don’t want to talk. Sometimes you just want to sit with someone in silence, sip scotch, and maybe re-caulk a boat. Ron Swanson is your man. He is a true aficionado of masculine things like whiskey and steak. He is impervious to hangovers. He wouldn’t say much, but when he did, his words would be wise and insightful. On the other hand, this might happen: