Have you heard of Secret? It’s this app where people can anonymously share posts, or “secrets,” about whatever’s on their mind. Mostly peoples’ secrets are about being in love, or their dog’s weird habits, or some bullshit fortune-cookie aphorism like, “All your fame, fortune and success mean nothing if you don’t have someone who loves you for who you really are.” But sometimes, there will be gems like “Everyone thinks my living comes from freelance design gigs, but actually it’s from the marijuana growing in my storage unit.” For this and other potentially incriminating secrets, Secret is great because the whole point of the app is for its users to remain, you know, secret.
But, for some reason, Secret users are starting to organize real-life meet ups where they get together have a beer and presumably mouthshare some more secrets, I don’t know. What I do know is these people clearly don’t understand how secrets work.
If you are harboring a secret pot farm, Secret meetups IRL probably aren’t a great idea. But even if you’re a crime-free human who is genuinely interested in meeting some new people online, why on earth would you want to do so based off an app where everyone is completely anonymous? At least on an app like Tinder you’d have the good sense to probably not agree to meet up with someone who doesn’t have at least one photo. (OK, that photo may or may not be of them, but that’s an entirely different story.) But when no one has a photo — or any other descriptor, for that matter — will you really know the difference between the person who posted, “The most magnificent things take time to grow” and the person who posted, “A mouthful of cum is better than a cup of coffee in the morning (gross raindrop emoji) (gross raindrop emoji) (coffee emoji) (coffee emoji) (creepy smiling sun emoji)”? Maybe. But also, maybe not. That is the whole point of anonymity. Don’t do this.