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How to Initiate a Kiss

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First You Have to Touch
In kissing as in life, you usually can’t just go from zero to sixty, and locking lips when you haven’t made any other sort of physical contact yet is definitely not for the shy or tentative.

So, once you decide you want to kiss someone, break the physical barrier ASAP, by touching their waist, arm, hand, back, initiating a game of thumb war, whatever works. If they recoil at your touch, well, a kiss is probably not in the cards for you tonight. But if they reciprocate, you’re golden, as it’s much easier to kiss someone when you’re already touching.

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Make eye-contact with their lips.
Okay, sure, it sounds really creepy written out like that. But it works! If you two are talking, look at his or her mouth which sends the subliminal message that you’re thinking about kissing. It seems a bit obvious in the light of day, but when it comes to making a first kiss happen, you need to be obvious. (I hasten to add, don’t stare solely at their mouth — break for a little eye contact now and then, and if after a while you still haven’t gone in for a kiss, switch strategies.)

Get close, lean in
Going in for a kiss can be really scary, so for your sake you want to make the transit time as short as possible, to minimize the agonizing “oh my godddd” while your head travels to theirs, so move close. Know that once you get to a certain amount of closeness, even if you’re just talking, it becomes pretty obvious that a kiss is going to happen. This is okay! You’re both on the same page, otherwise he or she would move back and continue conversing at a normal distance.

Touch their face
If you need one more beat before working up the nerve to kiss, touch their face or their hair. It’s intimate, sweet, and creates one more little bridge between not kissing and kissing. Once you’re ready (and seriously, don’t take all night!), you can use your hand on their face or head to tilt their face towards yours or (gently! not insistently) pull them in.

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Close your eyes and move in!
It’s the build-up, anticipation, and fear of rejection which makes kissing so scary — but the kissing itself is usually fine, great, even! And if you’ve gotten this far without having the other person shrug as far away from you as possible, you can be pretty darn sure they want to kiss you as much as you want to kiss them. So just close your eyes and move in.

Do you have any tips to share on lip-locking? Tell us about your perfect kiss.

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