The new “Arrested Development” episodes have gone live on Netflix, and the controversy they’ve provoked is second only to the controversy when FOX announced the show was cancelled.
For our part, we’re fans of the new season. We liked how it basically worked like one giant episode. Seasons 1–3 are complicated enough, with all the layers and the parallel miscommunications. It can be tough to keep track of who’s done what to whom. And these people have done a lot, to a lot of people, and often to the same people multiple times!
So, having binge-watched all fifteen episodes the day the season came out, we decided to create a run-down of all the illicit liaisons in Season 4. Behold the new heights of family dysfunction.
Warning: SPOILERS AHEAD!
Michael was dating Rebel Alley.
So was George Michael.
George Michael was trying to date Maeby (and so was his roommate P-Hound).
Maeby was dating a high school student named Perfecto.
Perfecto was the adopted son of Lucille 2.
Lucille 2 was having an affair with Oscar (in the past she has also had relations with GOB and Buster).
Oscar was also sleeping with Lucille 1.
Lucille thought she was sleeping with her husband, George. But he was having trouble getting it up.
Meanwhile, Tobias and Lindsay went on a double date. They both left with one half of the other couple.
This left Lindsay with Marky Bark. Marky Bark’s father is Johnny Bark, who long ago professed his love for Lindsay after a night of squatting in a tree together in protest.
Lindsay left Marky Bark for Herbert Love.
Herbert Love was sort of taking care of Buster as a son (You know, Blind Side style).
Then Buster slept with Herbert Love’s wife.
Tobias ended up with DeBrie.
DeBrie got into a limo full of young pop stars to service them and better her life. GOB happened to be driving the car.
GOB accidentally got engaged to Ann/Bland/Egg, who you’ll recall used to date George Michael.
GOB then somehow ended up in a homosexual relationship with Tony Wonder, even though neither of them are gay.
Around about that time, Egg showed up pregnant with Tony Wonder’s baby.
Tony Wonder was also secretly in a relationship with Sally Sitwell.
And you may remember, Sally Sitwell used to date Michael.
And look at that, we’ve sort of come full circle.