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What Your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Crush Says About Your Dating Style

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As much as serious self reflection will help you in your dating life, sometimes the silliest, most unexpected things can provide us with real insight into how we date and what we’re looking for. Take, for example, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Admit it. In spite of that fact that Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo were neither human nor real, if you liked boys, you were crushed out on one of them as a kid. In fact, each one of the Ninja Turtles represents a sort of “boyfriend archetype,” and whichever one you chose to be your fantasy mutant BF can tell you a lot about what you’re looking for in a guy.

Leonardo — The Great Guy

Leonardo was the fearless leader of TMNT. Ever the diplomat, Leonardo kept the crew together with his innate sense of fairness, his acceptance of responsibility and his proven ability in the field. He was respected and well liked by his peers and worked constantly to better himself.

If Leonardo was your turtle-of-choice, you need a guy you can count on. You’re looking for a man who will listen when you’re complaining about your crazy parents, but will be nothing but charming in their presence. Nice, but strong-willed and capable — that’s your type.

Raphael — The Bad Boy

Raphael was always, you know, kind of a dick. In a voice dripping with irony, Raph was always ready with some derogatory quip about his enemies as well as his teammates. The “Chandler” to Michelangelo’s “Joey,” Raphael took every opportunity to cleverly assert his superiority — even in the midst of battle.

Still, when it really mattered, Raph’s big heart would always shine through.

If you were into Raphael, chances are you’ve explained that more than one boyfriend was “not like that when it’s just the two of you,” to your concerned friends. Just remember: a guy with a prickly exterior who’s sensitive on the inside can be fine as long as he’s actually supportive when it really counts.

Michelango — The… Party Dude

Michelangelo was a simple guy. He loved pizza, soda, heavy metal and nunchucks. He wasn’t the brightest bulb on the TMNT tree, but he was unquestionably the most fun.

If Mike was your dream-turtle, you’re more interested in having a good time all the time than in finding your intellectual equal. Let’s not forget, however, that Michelangelo was also a ninja — which takes more than a little discipline. So, make sure your guy has a few accomplishments under his belt (other than that beer pong championship win) or you may find yourself feeling more like a mom than a girlfriend down the road.

Donatello — The Outsider

Donatello was the techy geek of the group, but he was also, in a way, the coolest. Nerdy and capable, Don was the turtle with a life outside the group. Though he read philosophy instead of watching TV and preferred classical music to rock and roll, Donatello was respected by the other turtles for his passion, his knowledge and his abilities.

Still, Don always seemed to hope for the day when someone would really get him.

If you swooned over Don, you like a guy who confidently marches to the beat of his own drum, but still longs for connection. You need a capable nerd who hasn’t been made bitter by a world that is always looking at him sideways. And it probably turns you on when a guy can fix stuff.

Either that or purple was just your favorite color.

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