I Think It’s Really Hot When You Ovulate Like That

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I learned something CRA-ZY today about, well, ovulation! More accurately, how ovulation affects mating, or as we laymen call it, DATING.

Maybe you already knew that women produce pheromones when they’re ovulating that make them more attractive to the opposite sex. (Makes sense, right? As much as we use birth control and indulge in adolescent behavior like eating cookie dough for dinner, nature wants us to BE PARENTS IMMEDIATELY.)

It’s kind of hard to believe though, because I don’t really know when I’m ovulating, so how can a random guy? Disconcerting! But the role ovulation plays in attraction is even bigger (and no less mysterious) than I had previously supposed.

For instance: lap dancers make more tips when they’re ovulating. Let me repeat that for you in case it blows your mind like it did mine: Lap dancers. Make more tips. When they’re ovulating.

A case study from 2007 showed that lap dancers made $335 average tips during ovulation, but only $260 the rest of the time, and a paltry $185 during menstruation. (Lap dancers on the birth control showed fluctuation.)

Men think women smell better during ovulation, women dress better, and speak in a higher (more feminine?) pitch. Women: DID YOU KNOW ALL THIS HAPPENS TO YOU ONCE A MONTH??

The most recent piece of the puzzle: many of these effects are heightened on single men and lessened on men in relationships. A recent FSU study showed that men who were in a relationship would rate an ovulating woman as less attractive, perhaps as a subconscious overcompensation for her actual increased levels of hotness. Again, this makes sense on a Darwinian level: nature wants us to be parents NOW, and to stay together and raise the kid, and make more, and more, and more humans…

So what does this mean for our dating life? If you’re a girl, this is basically science TELLING you when you’re gonna look and feel your best, when guys are going to be more attracted to you WITHOUT YOU EVEN TRYING.

I mean, that’s just sort of good to know, isn’t it?