Government Shutdown Turns Washington D.C. Craigslist into Hookup Opportunity Central

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sorry-dysfunctional-government-shutdown-workplace-ecards-someecardsCraigslist has long been the premiere destination for random connections, so it’s not surprising that in the wake of the government shutdown — a massive freeze on all government jobs and coherent, legislative discussion — that Craigslist would blow up with men and women looking to spend their newfound days off in the company of others. Hookups and requests for replacement coworkers abound in the D.C. area. Hey, if Republicans and Democrats can’t get together on the issues, at least the furloughed workers affected can get together and have a good time! Here are a few of the offers from folks looking to bide their time with fresh connections.

Government Shutdown NSA!

“If there’s one good thing that can come of this Federal shutdown, it could be some discreet, no-strings fun, DC style, between you and me. At least they certainly picked a gorgeous day for a shutdown!”

Shutdown Sex? Since You’re Off, Get Off.

“Looking for someone for times like these–when you’re feeling a bit bored, and horny, and frustrated.”

Government Shutdown, No One at Work Today, Need Chat to Keep Me Busy

“Hey there, no one is in the office today except myself and a couple of other people. I could use some good conversation to help me get through what will be a very long day.”

Any Government Woman Need a Good Relaxing Massage Today?

“Off today? I can help you relax with a massage…your place or mine. Nothing kinky, no sex, just relaxing fun”

Shutdown Blues

“I’m looking to help fill the shutdown blues. If you are home, alone, and would like to have a CD come over to visit let me know.”

Government Did Not Shut Down

Or did it ? Anyway I’m not watching the news . I’m bored out of my eyeballs.

No Work Today

“Well….woke up this morning and found that I will not be working today…..bit depressed about it…..is there anybody whom feels like cheering me up….

Govt Shutdown? My Hole Is OPEN Today for Business

Yeah, let’s stop that one right there. You get the picture.

Matt Patches is a writer and reporter living in New York City. His work has been featured on Vulture, Time Out New York, and The Hollywood Reporter. He is the host of the pop culture podcast Operation Kino.