There’s nothing more detrimental to my dating life than my taste in music. (See: My Taste In Music Is Ruining My Dating Life, from 2 years ago.) (It was not hyperbole.) So what do you do when you’re on a first date and you inevitably get asked what kind of music you like?
Joe Berkowitz, for Complex Magazine, lays it out:
You could be honest. You could just say, “Eh, I’m not really that into music. I watch C-Span every night.” But surely, everyone at any party held anywhere in the world would immediately turn their back on you if you admited that. They would hate you. Everybody would hate you and you’d go home alone and die unhappy.
Luckily, he’s got a guide for faking it til you make it. For instance, if you’re asked about a band you don’t know, apparently a safe thing to say is:
They’re Okay, But They’re Not Artists.
Despite steps toward a collective reconciling with the fact that today’s professional musicians often need to align themselves with brands in order to survive, among “serious” music fans, independence and obscurity are still a virtue. One way to come off as a heavily cultured audiophile, though, is to have one glaring exception to this rule at hand at all times—one massive Black Eyed Peas-level hit on your playlist that puts your other “better” tastes in sharp relief. (At this moment, it would be, maybe, “Blurred Lines.”) The way to qualify having this monster jam up in your mix, though, is to slag off its creator as a mere entertainer and not a true talent. The idea being: even kings are susceptible to royal fools.
Okay, so I’ve got some studying up to do. There are 9 other tips, just as useful (and intimidating?) as this one. In the meantime, I’ll just be over here. Listening to Coldplay.
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