Should Joan from Mad Men and Carson from Downton Abbey Date?

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Slate’s got a funny post pairing up characters from Mad Men with their Downton Abbey soulmates, including the sexy Joan Harris with the, let’s be honest, considerably less sexy Carson, The Butler, from Downton.

What Slate fails to take into consideration, because Slate is not a dating blog, is that, despite their mutual professional admiration for each other (both Joan and Carson are competent managers and like order), Joan would never, ever be attracted to Carson.

Remember how Joan is dating that awful Greg, just because he’s going to be a doctor? Joan wants to move up in the world!  She would never date a butler — she’d be angling for Matthew Crawley instead.

And as for Carson? Well first of all….is he even straight? You’re not sure, are you?

But, assuming he is, he would totally go after a more docile, less sexually adventurous woman than Joan.

So, nice try, but Joan and Carson is never gonna happen, Slate.

But! One of the other couples they predicted seems actually plausible:

Isobel Crawley and Lane Pryce! Both British! Both a little bit stuffy but still boundary-pushing (Isobel is pro-women’s rights! Pryce is dating a black girl!). Both slightly obnoxious with their propensity for imposing their own ideas on other people. Around the same age-range. Match made in TV heaven.

Check out the rest of Slate’s pairings here.