Heavy metal music has a lot of attributes, but “romantic” generally isn’t one of them. This should go a long way towards explaining why lists of “the Top 100 Metal love songs” have so many entries from Poison and Damn Yankees and other bands that don’t count; real metal is much less concerned with matters of the heart. It is more concerned with aggression and hate and making goofy faces in the woods.
But that’s not to say that metal is completely loveless. Here are some songs that, maybe in spite of themselves, could pass for genuine expressions of love. At the very least, if you played one of them for your girlfriend and said “this is how I feel about you,” she probably wouldn’t laugh. Much.
Judas Priest – Turbo Lover
People don’t take Judas Priest as seriously as they should, probably because their singer looks like Nobby the house elf, but they wrote this song about two lovers racing cars while having sex until they literally explode from the passion of it all. How badass is that? I mean, really.
Andrew WK – She Is Beautiful
Andrew WK has never been one for subtlety, to the point where the only thing separating him from a crazy protester ranting through a bullhorn is that none of Andrew’s songs are about the government. In fact, 85% of this song’s lyrics are him yelling “she is beautiful” while doing jump kicks or punching himself in the face or whatever he does. Still, it’s earnest, and I’m sure some girls would be complimented by Andrew’s straightforwardness here.
Black Sabbath – N.I.B.
When Ozzy Ozbourne wasn’t snorting, smoking, or biting the heads off various things, he was writing songs like “N.I.B,” in which he proclaims his love for a girl and promises to “give [her] those things [she] thought unreal” if she accepts him. Of course, it turns out that he’s writing from Satan’s point of view, but the sentiment is still there.
Agalloch – She Painted Fire Across the Skyline
Agalloch isn’t a band most people have heard of, but this song is a masterwork of tragic heartache and loss. Not since your eighth grade diary have you heard poetry like “I open my weary eyes once again/My life has been left hollow and ashes have filled the gorge of my within.” Seriously though, it sounds much better when it’s sung, and the music itself is heavy and atmospheric without being jarring. This would also be a great first dance song at your wedding if you’re looking to troll the guests, because it’s 18 minutes long. Suckers.
Bongzilla – 666lb Bongsession
Three guesses as to what Bongzilla’s songs are normally about. “Bongsession” isn’t much different, but the lyrics are vague enough that they could be applied to a woman. “I need to taste your breath/Every day I need the love you bring” is something girls like to hear, right?