Advice

5 Smarter Alternatives to Getting Your Girlfriend’s Name Tattooed On Your Penis (ATTN: J. Lo’s BF)

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Even though her manager hates the relationship, Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart are still going strong. So strong, in fact, that Casper has decided to express his love in an intimate way: by getting his girlfriend’s name tattooed on his penis. While penis tattooing sounds really painful, getting a partner’s name tattooed on yourself in any way or form is basically a way of asking the universe to make sure your relationship doesn’t work out. If you’re just so besotted with someone that you are dying to make your love more permanent, here are some things that work as reasonable substitutes:

1

Henna

If you’re just dying to be branded with your boyfriend or girlfriend’s name, temporary tattoos are a nice way to get the high without being permanently labeled.

2

Jewelry

Some pieces of bling cost as much as or more than tattoos, and you can have them engraved with the name of your choice. And, unlike a tattoo, you can take the thing off later without having to deal with scary and expensive lasers.

3

Hickeys

The best way to leave a mark on someone since your sophomore year of high school.

4

Photoshop

If you’re in a long distance relationship and want to show off your devotion, you can just photoshop a tattoo onto a photo of yourself. It’s sort of like those apps that let you test out different haircuts on yourself – if you try the bob and don’t like it, you didn’t already commit to cutting off all of your hair.

5

Hearts.

Or stars. Or smiley faces. If you’re just dying to ink yourself in the name of love and no substitute will do, think about a heart or something that represents love without having to stick someone’s name in there.

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