I always hear people complain about being gay, with arguments like “I’m a minority,” and “I can’t get gay-married.” But I like to think of my sexual orientation as a serious social advantage. Aside from being seen as generally fabulous and fashionable (which I am not… stereotype win!), there are many perks that come along with being in a same sex relationship.
Your Wardrobe Doubles in Size
I am not an especially trendy guy, but luckily, my boyfriend is. [That’s us on the left: me in a hoodie, him in a scarf and shades.] By dating someone who is my equal in height, weight and gender, I am able to utilize all of his on-trend cardigans and stylish seersucker shorts.
Alternating Big and Little Spoon
Have a rough day at work today? No sweat! Cuddle up and be held for a while. Feeling particularly studly tonight? Perfect!You can be the one to keep your loved one safe in a prolonged couch-style bear hug. It’s a pretty fair trade.
No One is Damned to do the Housework
I realize that most modern heterosexual relationships are fairly progressive in bypassing age-old gender roles, but with a same-sex relationship, there is no possibility of your partner pressuring you to fill the role once filled by your gender-defined predecessors. Translation: no one is guilted into doing the dishes.
You’re Both Dudes
With all due respect to all the ladies out there, in a gay male relationship (at least in my gay male relationship), no one is sensitive or needy, and all problems are efficiently laid out in plain site for discussion. I am certainly not implying that all women are sensitive or needy, but it always feels like my boyfriend and I speak the same language. The language of dudes. Unless you’re one of those gay men who is crazy-dramatic. In which case, I’m not interested.
You’re Fun to Have at Parties
I’m not saying that gay couples are more fun, but at times I have definitely felt like a fun novelty or party trick at heterosexual-dominated get-togethers. I mean, we always have the latest dish on The Real Housewives of New Jersey and we know how to mix a mean cocktail. Just saying.
People Don’t Pressure You Into Getting Married and Having Kids
Except for your mom. Your mom will always do this.
When You Do Get Married, You Get to Invent Your Own Ceremony
For a gwedding (gay wedding), a lot of traditional elements no longer apply: the processional down the aisle, the giving of the bride from the father to the groom, and the construct of the bridal parties. None of these traditions apply to a same-sex couple, which means you get to make it up! Want your “bridal” party to consist of guys and girls on the same side? Sweet! Want to run down the aisle hand-in-hand while “The Final Countdown” plays? Go to town! It’s a gwedding, after all.
You Can’t Accidentally Get Pregnant
There are no missed menstruations in this relationship.
There Isn’t Hair All Over Your Apartment
For any man who has ever lived with a woman, you understand why this is such a perk. My shower will never be covered in long-lady-hairs long as I’m not dating Steven Tyler.
I’m Confident That My Mother Would Never Like Any Girl I Would Have Brought Home
All the momma’s boys and women with crazy-controlling-mother-in-