Ladies and gentlemen, the data is in. We’ve collected the numbers. (We haven’t, but a researcher in Texas has.) We’ve collated the data, whatever that means. (Again, Texas did that.) According to the Daily Mail, a psychologist at Southern Methodist University spent four years studying over 450 recently married couples, repeatedly polling them on their level of satisfaction within their marriages over that period of time. And, drum roll please, the secret to keeping a man happy in a marriage is – being really hot!
Who would’ve thought? To reach this stunning conclusion, Professor Andrea Meltzer first had a separate group of participants rate both members of each couple on overall attractiveness. (Is this job still available?) Then, she asked the newlyweds to individually rank their satisfaction right at the beginning of their marriages. She followed up with each participant over the course of the four-year study to track how his or her reported satisfaction increased or declined.
The first interesting result: husbands were consistently happier than their wives at the beginning of their marriages. What’s more, husbands with attractive wives were more likely to remain satisfied within the marriage than husbands with less attractive wives. These hot wives also had a better chance of keeping their happiness going strong over all four years. Dudes with wives who weren’t so good looking? These guys were less likely to remain happy and, in a sad indictment of the male gender, were less likely to help their wives around the house and with daily tasks.
But lest you think you have enough material already to incontrovertibly prove men are more shallow than women, there’s more. Attractiveness in a husband didn’t affect women’s marital satisfaction one way or the other. Ladies weren’t any more likely to report increased or decreased satisfaction over the course of four years whether they had a hot husband or a schlub for a spouse. When asked for comment, married men everywhere said in unison, “Yeah, but not me—I love you, baby.” Reports suggest they then turned up the volume on the television.
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