On a scale of gummy vitamins to facial gunshot wounds, heavy drinking definitely lands in the not-great-for-you camp. A SUNY-Buffalo study that followed 634 couples for nine years has found that nearly half of all marriages in which one spouse is a heavy drinker end in divorce. (Researchers, by the way, defined “heavy” drinking as downing six or more drinks in one sitting.)
But. But but but. Maybe you and your partner have a lot in common – including, say, your unquenchable thirst for devil water. In that case, good news! At 30 percent, the divorce rate for two heavy drinkers is no higher that it is for teetotalers. The couple that drinks together, stinks [of malt whiskey] together.
Of course, some no-fun sticks-in-the-mud will tell you that you two should seek help for your obvious alcohol problem, citing the “particularly bad climate” for heavy drinkers’ children this study makes note of. But that would probably require the completion of a 12-step program, which is honestly just too many steps to keep track of, considering the booze has dissolved your hippocampus into a glob of neural Silly Putty. At least you crazy kids are happy!
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