Why Are Single Women Ashamed of Being Into Wedding Planning?

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Liz Lemon

A recent survey by the flower delivery company Interflora found that half of single women start planning their weddings before meeting the groom — starting, on average, at age 13. With all due respect, uh, duh. But to my surprise, 58 percent of those polled reported that they would never share these thoughts (the venue? the dresses? the honeymoon? the bridemaids?) with their boyfriends.

Let’s make one thing very clear: you’ve thought about your wedding before, at least a little. So have I. It’s fun. There’s absolutely no reason to be embarrassed about this — we all do it, otherwise Pinterest wouldn’t be a $4 billion company. Girl, I don’t care if you’re single, engaged, or what: if you’re interested in weddings, then be interested in weddings.

I’m not suggesting you whip out a binder full of potential caterers on your first date, but do you, and don’t hide it. If you want to fill your DVR with reruns of Say Yes to the Dress (Atlanta, obvi), do it. If you want to bookmark a few floor-length dresses with sweetheart necklines, do it. If your dude can’t deal, that’s entirely his problem. This behavior doesn’t make you “crazy,” nor does it qualify you as some kind of a hellbound commitment succubus. You’re not pulling out a tape measure under cover of darkness to fit him for a tux while he sleeps. That’s the great irony at work here: this type of dreamy, lazy wedding planning isn’t about the person you’re dating. His role in this, the mental scrapbook you’ve been assembling since middle school, is as generic as the smiling groom topper on your fastidiously imagined cake. He’s also just as easily replaced.

I will add that there are plenty more meaningful pursuits to which you could devote your time — that your actual wedding is just one day, and that your actual marriage is (theoretically) the rest of your life, and so on and so forth. But you already know this, because you are a grownup. With all that said, weddings are objectively awesome. The reception is a giant birthday party to end all birthday parties, and this time, people are socially obligated to get you a gift even if they can’t come.

If I never get married, I’m still going to have a wedding where 200 of my loved ones will be cordially invited to watch in silence as I, in a dress that costs more than my car, eat an entire three-tier cake by myself.