Every single modern day millennial is used to swiping right to get a date. The thing is, in doing so we have lost the glorified eyes-lock-across-a-crowded-room romantic fairytale! As fruitful as online dating can be (in many ways), the magic of meeting someone sans an “it’s a match!” notification is weaning, and we need to get back out in the everyday trenches! It’s what meeting the love of your life is all about, people!
Here’s how to meet someone offline:
AT THE BAR
In the magical event that you are at a bar with friends and see a cute guy you haven’t pre-planned drinks with on an app (jump for joy and cue minor heart palpitations) you need to know how to behave!
First of all, confidence is key. If you see a guy in a bar that you think is ca-uuute you need to let him know exactly that. Scout, and make sure there are no potential girlfriends roaming about, then be sure to maintain eye contact. Enter, The Eye Contact Rule. Defined: Hold fleeting eye contact with said target across the bar for 2 – 3 mississippi seconds, just enough to make it awkward, then look away. You will be officially on their radar – he will come to you.
AT THE COFFEE SHOP
Ok, so this takes a different turn to simple *eye f*cking* because there is no alcohol involved. If you start staring him down in the middle of the cafe he is going to be genuinely wigged out, and for good reason.
The way to approach someone at a coffee shop is to actually speak and initiate conversation. The top questions? “Would you watch my stuff for a minute?” Guarantees a conversation when you come back from getting napkins you don’t really need. “Would you like the rest of this brownie?” Guarantees him deeming you generous, while welcoming a chat. “Do you need a refill?” Simple, nonchalant and elegant. You got this! Another goodie? Comment on whatever he is reading. Just be sure you have an idea of what he is actually reading as that could make for a seriously awkward situation.
AT THE GYM
The gym is an easy one, as there are lots of favors you can ask. Things like, “Can you spot me?” An easy in, and most people won’t mind helping someone out for a few minutes in the weight room. You could have great banter and walk away with a number, or you simply have someone spotting you and leave it at that.
Another tip? Race him. Turn to the guy next to you and say “race you.” Worst-case scenario: You get a better workout. Best-case scenario: You get a date.
ON THE SUBWAY
To begin, don’t wear your city armor. The headphones, the book, the cell phone, the ‘don’t talk to me’ scowl – leave it at home. You will look more approachable, and be more aware of someone you may want to approach, too.
The best of all flirting tips on public transport? Ask for directions. It is a simple, easy way to engage in conversation and it allows him to help the damsel in distress. Even if you know the subway system like the back of your hand, no man can resist helping the girl who *seems to have* no idea.
At the end of the day, just because the modern world is obsessed with online dating doesn’t mean that you have to tap into it. There is still something magical about meeting someone in your natural habitat, and (let’s be honest) we all want a love-at-first-sight moment. The key? Be bold and patient. Have confidence in who you are and what you want, and the right person will fall into your lap.