No Thank You

Women are Apparently Losing Millions of Dollars By Not Dating Creepy Internet Gentlemen

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Woman biting a sandwich out of money and lettuce is an Internet dating site where “generous” people (men) can bid on dates with “beautiful” people (women). This, says founder Brandon Wade, is actually a very pure method of finding love, and also “a matter of free market principles, really.”

But is having a problem. The problem is that the ladies just don’t understand the free market. According to a recent WhatsYourPrice press release, single women are passing up literally millions and millions of dollars by refusing dates. In 2013, women “either declined or neglected” 529,679 offers made by generous male suitors. At roughly $142 bucks a pop, that’s $75,439,282 in free date-money just sitting there. Every time a lady says no to a date, WhatsYourPrice calculates, she is refusing money. Women, amirite?

Personally, I can confirm that this is true. For example, once I said no to a person who probably would have bought me a beer. I mean, I’m not totally sure, but I think so. That’s $7 I just threw away.

So, ladies of, stop hating money so much and embrace the free market principles of pure love! Or, you know, keep on keepin’ on, because you are not actually a commodity and are allowed to have preferences and also dating is not an entirely commercial exchange. And, reassuringly, this appears to be true even if you are on a site called