Advice

5 Creative Songs To Have Sex To (That You’ve Probably Never Had Sex To)

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Sex advice columns and websites are full of music suggestions, but they don’t have much imagination. In fact, most sex playlist ideas are as predictable as the sex they’re supposed to be improving: some contemporary R&B, a couple of brainless club hits, one of the few remaining Motown classics that hasn’t been used in a fast food commercial yet, and that’s it. Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the imagination? There’s plenty of awesome sex music out there if you’re willing to get creative. Here are some tunes to get you started.

Big Freedia “Na Who Mad?”

New Orleans bounce is pretty much the aural equivalent of a strobe light, which is great for rump-shaking but not so good for what comes after, right? Wrong! The frenetic pace and intense call-and-response style of most bounce tracks is perfect for a fast and furious quickie. As an added bonus, even if you’re a screamer, Big Freedia is loud enough to drown out all of your weird sex noises.

Guitar Wolf  “Roaring Blood”

Having seen Guitar Wolf live, I can say with some authority that they are sweatiest, smelliest, swaggerin’-est band to ever not give a f*ck. Their music, however, inspires plenty of people to give f*cks, especially to each other and especially when they’re drunk. This makes sense: Guitar Wolf’s I’m-too-hammered-to-care musicianship lends itself well to crazy, sloppy, drunken sex that pulls up the sheets and knocks over some furniture.

The Paladins “Let’s Buzz”

This song has a lot of low end, which gives it an element of playful sleaze, and it also sets a great pace for slapping loins together; not too fast or too slow, and plenty of swing. Plus, it’s also a great song for stripping, so you and your partner can put on a show for each other before getting down to it.

White Zombie “More Human Than Human”

This one might seem a little obvious because of the moaning pornstar samples at the beginning, but the song itself has an almost-perfect groove to it; match each thrust to the snare hits and you’ll be going all night long. The song’s mood is ideal for the kind of nasty, decadent sex that comes from watching a skin flick together and wanting to try out a few things.

Iggy and the Stooges “Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell”

Oh, man. If Skynet ever built a cyborg to have sex with your girlfriend (or boyfriend), it was Raw Power-era Iggy Pop. Every song off that album makes me want to dance and fight and hump all at the same time. “Your Pretty Face” is performed with absolute reckless abandon and the sort of passion that makes it ideal for that wild-eyed, world-is-burning-down-around-us kind of sex. The kind where you’re trying to get your pants off the ceiling fan with a broomstick the next morning.

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