Now you can rent a private room by the half hour thanks to a new service called Breather, which, they will have you know, is totally not at all for sex. Instead, it’s a “quiet space in the middle of the hustle and bustle” that you use for wholesome activities like relaxing and napping and getting work done and not-sex.
Basically, as Gothamist explains, it’s Zipcar, but for spaces instead of wheels. If you need to go to IKEA but you don’t have a car, you borrow one. If you need to absolutely not have sex for an hour or two, you rent a Breather. The spaces are “stocked with everything you need — and nothing you don’t.” That means yoga mats and wifi and desks and choices and chairs and condoms. Hahahaha just kidding! No one will ever have sex in these rent-per-hour rooms what is wrong with you? Over the course of “months of usage, we know [sex] just doesn’t happen,” Breather’s NYC City Manager tells Gothamist. Okay, NYC City Manager, I trust you. No sex ever, only yoga and iPhone charging for us. And anyway, Breather cleans its rooms between every use. Every chaste, chaste use.
Right now, Breather is only available in New York and Montreal, but they’ve got plans to expand to other cities soon. A room runs you $15-$25 an hour, with the first hour on the house. So nap! Meditate! Apply to graduate school! Do whatever you do in a private room! Except have sex. Nobody does that.