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Let’s All Laugh Together About These Ridiculous Fake Reasons Girls Are Single

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It might sting to hear legitimate reasons you are actually single. Like:

You are too selfish to change your life to encorporate the needs of another person into your life.

You find it impossible to imagine having sex with only one person at a time and you would definitely cheat.  

You are afraid to let anyone get to know the real you because you think you’re a terrible person.

Oh my God. What a depressing exercise.

But ecosalon has gathered these 25 reasons people have actually been told they are single, and they are so silly we can just laugh at them. Throw our heads back, let the wind rush wildly through our hair, throw open our mouths, and laugh heartily and unattractively. A few of my favorites:

9. “I had a boyfriend who told me I should cover my arms because of all the freckles. (He had freckles.) This was right before he told me, when I was naked on top of him, that I should ‘really tone up’. (He was not toned up.)” (Fat is only acceptable on a freckled bro-dude.)

14. “I was told to wear a watch so men know I take life seriously and that I’m someone to be taken seriously. A watch gives you a sense of organization and adulthood. You’re not just the woman he has sex with – you’re a woman who takes care of herself with a watch.” (This advice was sponsored by Rolex.)

17. “My father told me to get rid of my big dog because she intimidated all the men I dated.” (Your dog is a bitch.)

[ecosalon]

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