Comedians and very funny people are generally the most cynical people on Earth; they have to be to find all of life’s funny little miseries. But that’s also why funny people just might be the best folks to look to for dating advice: they’ll tell you the truth and they’ll make you laugh the whole way through. Settle in for a little advice from these very funny people.
Louis C.K.: Dating is Really Brave
This walking reality check is right. In one of the many stand-up routines in which Louis C.K. wears a black t-shirt and dad jeans, he preaches the truth: dating is tough, and those of us who are tough enough to keep doing it are brave.
“Dating is a real drag for a lot of people, but I always think it’s a nice thing. You know, when I see a date, I’m always happy when I see a couple on a date because it means people are still trying. You see a couple on a date it means there’s still courage out there. It takes courage to go on a date, for both sides.”
Of course, this is Louis C.K., so he follows that up with a portrait of a terrified man on a first date and all the reasons women should be afraid of going places with strange men they’ve just met, but hey, we’re brave! It’s time someone appreciated our tenacity, right?
Mindy Kaling: Break Your Dating Patterns, Even Though It’s Terrifying
In her book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? comedian and The Mindy Project creator Mindy Kaling most practical revelation goes like this: date a man or woman, not a boy or girl. After regaling readers with multitudes of dating mishaps, because advice only works when we know just how painfully real its discovery was, Kaling makes a damn good case for aiming for more adult relationships.
“Until I was thirty, I only dated boys, as far as I can tell. I’ll tell you why. Men scared the shit out of me. Men know what they want. Men make concrete plans. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn’t on the floor. Men tip generously. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men go to the dentist. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they’re thinking of kissing you.”
And since we’re living in a society that treats men and women as equals, it’s only fair that this expectation extends to both genders. It’s the difference between a relationship that ends because “I just need more time to work on me” and one that actually stands a decent chance.
Tina Fey: Humans Will Do Anything in the Pursuit of Sex
While we’re out there bravely dating and seeking adult relationships, it’s important to stay grounded with one very simple truth: humans will still do just about anything for sex.
In her book, Bossypants, Tina Fey explains the crux of so many of life’s mysteries. She writes, “I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.”
Yes, it’s funny to imagine a bunch of people in a series of giant hamster wheels with sex being dangled in front of them like the ever-unattainable carrot, but there’s some significant wisdom to be gained here. While we’re bravely in pursuit of Mr. or Mrs. Right, it’s important to remember that whenever things seem amiss and we’re stuck hanging onto the “but they did this really incredible thing for me and it was so sweet” excuse for every other break-up worthy behavior, it’s time to call shenanigans.
Amy Poehler: Love is the Worst, But Also The Best
In her unbelievably helpful and adorable web series Ask Amy, Amy Poehler gives life advice to fans who send her questions about their own dilemmas. When one young woman tells Amy she’s afraid of being in love, Amy drops one big, beautiful, heart-warming truth bomb.
“Being in love is the worst. It’s also the best, but it’s so hard and scary to open your heart to someone … when you tell somebody you love them or you realize you’re in love, what it means is you’re giving yourself over a little bit, you’re being vulnerable. But the point is vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerable people are powerful people … celebrate the idea that you’re in love and that you love the idea of being in love.”
Of course, there is a caveat here: Poehler doesn’t recommend jumping in headfirst. Like the very wise lady she is, she makes sure to point out that it’s important to let your brain come along for the ride, too.