Being Single

Confessions of a Picky Dater

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This is the latest post from Helen, our bi-coastal Date Reporter. She’ll be documenting her experience dating in both San Francisco and Boston as she travels between the coasts for work. Catch up on her story here.

Ok kids. It’s time to get serious. The times they are a changing. Meaning, of course, the weather and the seasons, but I suppose you can apply it to me, life, the world, etc. But I’m ready to go on some dates. Which is far easier said than done.

My friends, family and associates all know that I am picky. Notoriously so.  Like I could give some five-year-old picky eaters a run for their money. If only men were as readily available as grilled cheese and hot dogs. When I tell my middle-aged coworkers,  “I’m just looking for a college grad who knows how to use you’re/your, they’re/there/their as well as  how to open the door,” they’ll chime in and say, “That’s not so bad!” They’d be surprised.

Of course that’s just my song and dance to people when I don’t want them to know that I’m actually crazy. Because I should also admit I’m kind of a college snob, I despise heavy Boston accents and I just don’t trust people who don’t eat meat. It’s just so tasty! What’s not to love? Oh. And if  there’s isn’t any physical chemistry then there’s really no hope, even if he’s super funny and/or so interesting that he makes the Dos Equis guy seem tedious. But we can be friends?

Obviously that means I have approximately 15 men to choose from. Only half of which are interested in a saucy Chinese girl, and and only about half of those are interested in making the first move. So you do the math. I should also confess I’m a bit of a passive dater;  I’ve done the whole going after guys thing, but it’s just so much easier to wait for them to message me. Then I get to screen them and  I get to be the judge. Which is essentially my ideal situation all the time. Sometimes I’ll get buck wild and scroll through potential dates based solely on their profile pictures, then simply click “I’m intrigued” on their dates.

But that hasn’t worked considering I’m not exactly dating. Because I’m not actually doing anything.  Alas.

Conclusion: I need to be proactive and message people, which is terribly disappointing because I was counting on men lining up to go on a date with a gem like me.  All 5 of them that is.

So, this is my vow to stop dilly-dallying and message some of these guys, because I’m not getting anywhere with my current approach. I’m going to go through my recommended dates, do some perusing and tell some guy that his dog is cute. Wish me luck!

A New Englander at heart, Helen splits her time between Boston and San Francisco where she’s looking for love, laughs, and the next great burrito. Check out her misadventures at Single/(almost)White/Female