Online Dating

Science Says the Ideal Person for Online Dating Is a Skinny 25 Year-Old Drunk Dog Owner Who Goes to Church

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Beautiful woman on a sofa working with a laptop, isolated in white

You might have heard: We’re currently in the throes of the busiest time of the year for online dating. Appropriately, several online dating services have been pumping out their own super-scientific studies in search of the factors that comprise the ideal mate. And given the mounting list of criteria you have to meet just to rack up a few decent messages, I’m pretty sure the Internet’s ideal date is part-bionic.

Two researchers at dating site Plenty Of Fish recently crunched data from more than 81,000 profiles and 1.8 million messages within its 25- to 35-year-old U.S. demographic in search of the most desirable traits for singles in 2014. Yes, your chances of receiving hundreds of messages from potential suitors have a lot to do with obvious factors like income and education level, but some non-obvious factors — like your drinking habits — carry a surprising amount of weight when it comes to reeling in potential suitors.

According to Plenty Of Fish, the ideal woman is 25 years old, has somehow managed to already complete grad school, still makes time to go to church, drinks a lot but is still thin, and owns a dog.

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Age seems to matter less when it comes to the ideal man, who is a Christian brunette stud raking in between $100,000 and $150,000 a year, actually wants to be in a relationship, and has pocketed either a doctorate, MD, or law degree.

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The criteria for a decent online date gets even more complicated when you start cross-referencing the studies that have come out of different online dating companies in recent weeks. For example, a Zoosk study suggests women who take selfies see a slight bump in the number of messages she receives, yet any photos featuring animals have a negative impact on messages received for both men and women. So although the ideal Plenty Of Fish woman has a dog, she shouldn’t take selfies with it, according to Zoosk. But never fear — even if you’re a 33-year-old atheistic high school dropout, you should still be able be able to pull in some messages by throwing a :-) emoticon into your profile.

Image via Veer