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Settle.com Is the Last Super-Specific Dating Site Anyone Will Ever Need

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There are highly specialized dating websites for any person with any interest. But what about people who have tried all those websites and still gotten nowhere? Someone who is tired of the whole dating game, and also tired of life in general? Someone who just wants someone, anyone, so that they don’t die alone and start to stink up the neighborhood?

Well, sketch comedy troupe Super Kudzu made a fake commercial for Settle.com, a dating site for people looking to do just that. It’s very sad. It’s funny, but it’s sad. I believe that the stereotype of online dating as something only used by desperate and lonely people has long been disproven by the countless happy relationships that have come from it, but I enjoy talking about grisly crime stories on first dates, so maybe I don’t know anything. Settle.com is one of those things that is clearly like, “this isn’t for me, but I could see how this could work for someone.”