The Best Way to Pick Up Women? Be a Cupcake

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man cupcake

From his years of experience as a close observer of the human condition, writer Lee Breslouer developed a theory. Women like men — “they even marry them, sometimes,” he observes — but they love cupcakes. Also, they are on Tinder. Therefore, the best way to woo ladies would be to pose as a man-cupcake on Tinder. Which he did. And it turns out, Breslouer is right. The ladies, they love the cupcakes. Romantically. Also, based on the messages, sexually. Very sexually — that’s how the ladies love the cupcakes:

cupcake dirty talk

As “Connor Cupcake,” Breslouer got more attention than he’s ever gotten as himself, which is a sad state of affairs for all of us. Because the thing about cupcakes? No matter how long you wait in line for them at Magnolia Bakery, they’ll never love you back.

[h/t First We Feast]