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‘The Daily Show’ Wants to Help Single Ladies Find a Husband Already

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One of the great things about living in “the future” is realizing we haven’t yet evolved past gems of dating advice like “Invest your effort and energy at least 75 percent in searching for a partner and 25 percent in professional development” and “Girl, lose the weight! I know it’s hard… just do it”—both of which are actual quotes from Susan “Princeton Mom” Patton’s new book, Marry Smart.

On last night’s episode of The Daily Show, Senior Women’s Issues Correspondent Kristen Schaal explained the fear Patton has instilled in single women everywhere: “The hard truth is that month after month, your precious eggs are just jumping out of your vagina like rats off a sinking ship.” But all is not lost — watch Schaal unveil her brilliant solution for how to help women get on their dating games as early as possible. You’re welcome in advance.