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Why Doesn’t Amazon Have a Dating Service That Matches You Based on Your Shopping Habits?

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As far as Amazon and I are concerned, you can tell a lot about someone by what they buy online. Which is what makes this suggestion on Reddit’s r/CrazyIdeas thread so damn genius:

“Amazon should start ‘Amazon Meetup.’ A service through Amazon that lets you meet other people in your area who have similar interests as you which is determined by your shopping patterns.”

So, this idea will never, ever come to fruition, probably. A matching service based on your shopping purchases could be useful if you purchase the majority of your books and movies on Amazon, like I do. But it could also get weird if you purchase things like nipple cover pasties and copies of Gwyneth Paltrow’s cookbook on Amazon, like I do.

However, if Amazon were ever to be like, “Oh, look, you and this other cute, age-appropriate, and gainfully employed shopper both bought a lifetime supply of gourmet popcorn tins and the entire DVD boxed set of The Wire in the last six months and you’re both free this Friday based on a quick cross-reference of both of your Google Calendars,” who would I be to say no?

But I’m still holding out for the Netflix-based dating service that will find me dates who also enjoy the “Cool Moustaches” category.