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The Best Couples Costume Ideas for 2013

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Halloween is approaching so it’s once again time to prove your love through coordinated outfits. There are a lot of timely costumes out there this year, but do you really want to be the fourth Miley and Thicke or Government-Shutdown-Congress duo at your college roommate’s Halloween party? No. For some costumes you’re unlikely to see elsewhere, check out these selections.

Statler and Waldorf

You know those crotchety old puppets who hang out in the Muppet Theater balcony and never give Kermit and his friends a break. They only like one thing and one thing only: each other. For couples who wear their snark as a badge of honor, this is your outfit.

How to Dress the Part:

StatlerandWaldorf(2)For Statler:
A pinstripe suit
A bald cap with a ring of gray hair
A gray unibrow
Cleft chin and hooked nose a plus
Hate everything

For Waldorf:
A brown suit
A bald cap with a white ring of hair
A white mustache
Tired eyes a plus
Hate everything even more than your partner does

Batman and Robyn

What would Gotham’s greatest crimefighter be without his sidekick, Swedish Pop sensation Robyn? He’d be Dancing on His Own, that’s what.

batmanrobyn

How to Dress the Part:

For Batman:
Cowl
Cape
All black ensemble (or just buy a Batman costume at any drug store)
Gravelly voice
Strong sense of justice

For Robyn:
Patterned leggings
Silk jacket
Brightly colored tank
Asymmetrical blond bob
Huge Frankenstein platforms
Inimitable dance moves

Sean Archer and Caster Troy from Face/Off

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John Woo’s classicly insane action film Face/Off featured a simple premise: good John Travolta and evil Nic Cage switch faces, becoming evil John Travolta and good Nic Cage. (Isn’t “good Nic Cage” an oxymoron?) For a fun, interactive costume that allows everyone to be Nicolas Cage at least part of the time, try this.

How to Dress the Part:

Life-size color pictures of each actor’s face turned into a mask
Dark colored suits
Switch masks (and personalities) constantly
Yell in agony a lot

Silent Film Villain and Heroine 

Both silent films and Snidely Whiplash cartoons managed to capture the very common practice of mustachioed men tying women to train tracks. It was well known at the turn of century that the more twirlable a man’s mustache was, the more untrustworthy he was around train depots. The key to this costume is silence.

How to Dress the Part:

downloadFor the heroine:
White face paint and gray makeup
Long braids with optional hair powder
Old-timey black dress
Cardboard railroad tracks attached to back
Rope tied around torso
White board with marker for communication (“Help!”)

For the villain:
White face paint and gray makeup
Top hat
Twirly mustache (the twirlier the better)
A cape (why did these guys always wear a cape?)
White board with marker for communication (“Bwahaha!”)

Lucille and Buster Bluth

With Arrested Development’s resurgence this year, there are a lot of couple possibilities. Who to choose? The obvious answer is Lucille and her Baby Buster, winners of multiple Motherboy’s “Cutest Couple” awards and Balboa Bay Window cover darlings. Clearly.

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How to Dress the Part:

For Lucille:
Impeccable skirt suit
Classic brooch and/or pearls
Martini
Winky face
Withering contempt

For Buster:
Sweater vest
Checkered shirt
Rounded glasses
Hook for a hand
Juicebox (but keep it hidden from Mother!).

Emoji Girls

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It’s hard to say exactly what this emoji depicts. Cat girls? Ballerinas? Cat girl ballerinas? But it is (literally) iconic, and also super easy, and undoubtedly perfect for any loving pair.

How to Dress the Part:

For both:
Blond wig
Cat ears
Black leotard,
Black shoes.
Kick. Kick. Kick.

Dr. Alan Grant and Dr. Ellie Sattler from Jurassic Park 

Everyone’s favorite childhood movie got a big re-release on this, its 20th year. Keep the nostalgia going by dressing as Laura Dern and Sam Neill as they venture into the doomed park for the first time. Don’t forget the raptor puppets for extra realism.

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How to Dress the Part:

For Dr. Alan Grant:
Denim button down
Khaki pants
Red neckerchief
Wide-brimmed hat.

For Dr. Ellie Sattler:
Sleeveless blue T-shirt
Pink button down tied at the waist
High-waisted khaki shorts
Sneakers
Blond ponytail.
Face-full of dino-poop optional

Joe vs. the Volcano

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan’s first collaboration doesn’t get nearly the attention it deserves, but that could be because the film’s real, passionate romance was between Joe and that sexy volcano. This costume works best if both parties agree to intermittently battle throughout the evening. Without the battles, you’re just Joe and the Volcano, and no one wants to see that movie.

joe-and-megHow to Dress the Part:

For Joe: 
Hawaiian shirt
Tom Hanks wig

For the Volcano:
Long gray skirt
Orange and red shirt
Fiery disposition
A giant papier mache volcano like in middle school science class (for extra credit)

Milkman and Pregnant Housewife

It’s mostly lost to history now, but it was once a well-known fact that milkmen were the pool boys of their day: eye candy for bored housewives and occasional secret babydaddies. This is a great costume for an expecting couple or a couple who wants to use a fake belly as a place to store booze.

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How to Dress the Part:

For the Pregnant Housewife:
Fake belly (or real belly, if nature provides it)
1950’s style house dress and pumps
Pearls
Look of guilty pride.

For the Milkman:
All white outfit
Jaunty white cap
A bottle or carton of “milk.” (for popularity reasons, fill your “milk” with booze)

Max and a Catfish

Catfish might be the most 2013 show on the air, and as such it needs to be honored this Halloween. While Nev is the star of the show, we’re not sure how one dresses as Nev (wide eyes, chest hair and unflagging optimism?). Most people prefer Max anyways.

How to Dress the Part:

281x211For Max:
Gray streaks in hair
T-shirt and jeans
Video camera
Extreme sense of skepticism

For Catfish:
Fish-shaped hat
Cat eared headband
Drawn on whiskers,
Swimmies with fins on your arms
Lie about your identity all evening.

Bear/Bare

Homonyms make for great couples costumes. This is obvious to anyone with a love of wordplay. Carrot/karat, sun/son, prophet/profit: all great possibilities For a disguise that people will get right off, stick to the “bear” necessities.

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How to Dress the Part:

For Bare:
A shirtless dude (or anyone in a translucent body stocking)
Pants of some kind recommended but not enforced.

For Bear:
A full bear suit (duh)

L.L. Bean

How do you dress as America’s number one, Maine-based catalog retailer? Not by wearing a monogrammed backpack and a fleece, by embodying an incredibly stupid pun! For this costume, you and your partner will be dressing as LL Cool J… and a bean. Yeah, you got it!

llcoolbean

How to Dress the Part:

For LL:
Kangol hat
Open collared shirt over wifebeater
Jeans
Refusal to understand what’s problematic about “Accidental Racist” or starring on a CBS Procedural
At least he first verse of “Momma Said Knock You Out” memorized

For the Bean:
Start with a brown sack
Add a sombrero, poncho, and jumping for “Mexican Jumping Bean” flavor

50 Shades of Gray

50 shades of grayIt’s the biggest book of 2013 by a mile, and the movie has already been slated, cast, and dreamt about by Moms everywhere. How can you and your significant other capture some of that erotic, bondage-y heat?

How to Dress the Part:

For both:
Each person wears exactly 25 shades of gray
Hitting one another is optional but encouraged

Cupid and Psyche

One of mythologies great, tragic love stories, Cupid (also known as Eros) was the son of Aphrodite who fell hard for a human woman named Psyche. They wed, but he refused to allow her to see him because his true form was too dangerous. Like any meddlesome mother-in-law, Aphrodite planted the idea in Psyche’s head that Cupid was not who he claimed to be, and if he really loved his bride he would show himself to her in all his glory. After much pleading from Psyche, Cupid relented, revealing himself as a God and melting her human face off in the process.

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How to Dress the Part:

For Cupid: 
Diaper
Heart-shaped bow and arrow
Wings
Angelic wig of golden hair.

For Psyche (or a psychologist):
Tweed jacket
Tiny and thoughtful glasses
Notepad
The refrain, “And how does that make you feel?”

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