Tits and Sass, a blog run by and for sex workers, recently conducted a poll asking their readership what the worst thing about their job was. Excluding “the most obvious and serious options (the stigma; the illegality; the cops),” the poll focused instead on the more “precise sources of annoyance,” and asked strippers, escorts, and fetish providers to identify just what questions, comments, and behavior from clients pissed them off most. The results are an interesting insight into the world of sex work from a perspective not often seen. Plus, these women are funny as hell.
The question “So, what’s your real name?” won a landslide victory among the strippers polled, as a full 55% picked it as “the most grating question on the planet.” The second biggest annoyance was “Sweatpants Boner Man,” with 32% of the vote. (Shudder.)
For escorts, clients who haggle over prices earned 43% of votes. One commenter remarked, “I’m not a pair of shorts. You won’t find me in the bargain bin because I’m not on sale,” while another says, “The younger ones like to ask for a ‘student discount.’ Um, guess what, I’m a student too, genius!” No less than 20% of the vote went to clients with poor hygiene, which is possibly more horrifying than the existence of Sweatpants Boner Man. Very reasonably, Tits and Sass asks clients to “please wash your damn junk.”
Among fetish providers and pro-dommes, clients who say “I want to do whatever you want to do!” got 50% of the votes. One commenter astutely noted that, “In client speak, ‘I want to do whatever you want to do’ actually means ‘magically figure out my incredibly obscure and unusual fantasy and make it reality. I will not give you any hints or clues, in fact I am unable to talk about my own desires in any meaningful way. I probably don’t even consciously know what they really are.’”
Multiple commenters said that “no shows/no calls” should top the entire list, which, yeah, that’s just basic common courtesy. As is showering, not asking sex workers their real names (what, you wanna see their driver’s license too?), and not popping a freaking boner in the club. Sex work is depicted in media as either glamorized or shameful, but is rarely presented as, well, work: combining all the annoyances of customer service jobs with the added bonus of having to strip for/sleep with/dominate said annoying customers. May the gods of sex and blogging bless the ladies of Tits and Sass with polite, generous, and meticulously groomed clients who look like David Beckham and never, ever ask for a discount.
- This Guy Wrote a Haiku For Every Girl He’s Slept With
- 5 Kisses Everyone Should Master
- Guess How Frequently Single Men Change Their Sheets. (The Answer Is Horrifying.)