Entertainment

Guys: Stop Being Jealous And Just Get Better At Sex

Pin it

Guys. This is a call to action. It’s time to stop being so insecure about being terrible lovers and just Stop. Being. Terrible. Lovers.

It doesn’t matter how many other dudes she’s slept with. It doesn’t matter what her “number” is. It doesn’t matter how many more inches her last boyfriend had than you. Why? Because you’re going to stop blaming her for having the nerve to have sex before she met you. And then you’re going to rock her world.

As much time as we spend thinking about sex, you’d think we’d actually be a little more, I don’t know, thoughtful about it. When I read accounts like this one of men’s babyish preoccupation with how they compare to a woman’s previous hook-ups, I feel ashamed of my brethren. You’d prefer that women had fewer lovers because it means fewer lovers to compare you to? Seriously?

When you played little league, for example, and you were striking out more often than not at the plate, did you just waste your time being jealous of the guys who were getting on base? Did you blame the game of baseball for having so many other good hitters? Naww. You got your ass to the batting cages, son!! You choked up on the bat! You kept your eye on the ball. You strove to be the best.

I know that there are many guys out there who, rather than lamenting their standing in the Sexual Olympics, and complaining that there is too much competition, go for the GOLD. To you, I raise my glass. You are a credit to your sex.

To the rest of you, who would let your own insecurities allow you to shame a woman for her promiscuity, stop being little bitchboys and LEARN YOUR CRAFT. Crack a book, dude. Watch some lesbian porn (the real stuff, not two drunk college girls making out for the camera). Turn off the Howard Stern and listen to the Savage Love podcast every once in a while. If you took even a fraction of the time that you now use to badger your girlfriends about how many other men they’ve slept with, and used it to Google “G-Spot?” Maybe you wouldn’t have to worry so much about the competition.

Listen to me: The only “number” you should be concerned with is the number of times she’s reaching orgasm. And given that your technique will need to be flexible to accommodate the uniqueness of every vagina (they’re like snowflakes!) you’ve got plenty to think about.

[TheFrisky]