Advice

Romantic Wisdom From Rap Genius

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I’m a single guy, which means I don’t really know how love works. With all the free time the single life affords me, I’ve been able to turn a lot of places for insight. Recently, I’ve started turning to hip hop. However, I’m still single so I must not be taking the right lessons from what I’ve been listening to. I decided to turn to Rap Genius for help.

I figure there is no better song to look to for answers than Method Man’s classic “All I Need” so let’s start there, right on the first verse.

Shorty I’m there for you anytime you need me

Be there when your shorty needs you. Good advice. Let’s see how Rap Genius breaks it down:

Explanation: I’m always here when your in need

Okay, right off the bat here I’m going to make a rule: no making fun of spelling and grammar errors. It’s a dickish, elitist move and given the context reeks of socioeconomic bias. Moving on, it seems we are all in agreement here, be there when needed, always.

For real girl, it’s me in your world, believe me

I think I get it, underline your commitment and assuage fears that you are less than fully present.

Explanation: He is being monogamous with her and true

Hm, taking this right to infidelity seems like it’s bowling over the foundational point. Being present with somebody involves more than keeping your penis where it’s supposed to be – that’s the easy part. But I suppose any reassurance is good reassurance.

Nothing make a man feel better than a woman

Explanation: Physically mentally and emotionally women make men feel better than anything on Earth.

Well now I’m just bummed out. Some things are almost as good. Like analyzing rap lyrics about love. This is very fulfilling. Sigh.

Also, I’m not really sure where extolling the virtues of a romantic relationship ends and dependence on a significant other for your physical, mental and emotional wellbeing starts. I’m a bit worried about you, Rap Genius.

Queen with a crown that be down for whatever

Explanation: Every king has a queen and that queen backs her king by staying by his side

This explanation I don’t agree with. I think Rap Genius is inserting the fidelity theme where it doesn’t belong. Why all this fidelity talk? Is there something you want to get off your chest, Rap Genius?

Let’s scroll down a few lines to this:

Never ever give my pussy away, and keep it tight aight

Explanation: Never cheat on him, be faithful aight

See? There is a clear voice here. That “aight” is not just a callback to the actual lyrics, I swear it’s a shot at somebody. Who put in the explanations for this song? Is he okay?

From verse two:

Plus I love the fact you got a mind of your own

Explanation: Double Entendre, Shawty is different from other ladies and….She gives pretty unique head.

No need to shop around you got the good shit at home

Explanation: As a result of the preceeding line,Method has no reason to cheat on his lady…He gets the best loving at home.

Okay, first that oral sex double entendre is really forced on your part, Rap Genius. I am highly skeptical he was putting that in there. Wouldn’t he have used “head” or “brain” there if he was really going in that direction? Now I think you might be a bit sex obsessed in addition to the fidelity fixation.

Here’s how the chorus is broken down:

You’re all that I need, I’ll be there for you
If you keep it real with me, I’ll keep it real with you
Loving your whole steez, it be in there boo
On top of that you got the good power-U

Explanation: You’re the one for me and I wont fuck with no other women. I am always available for you. If you’re faithful and honest with me i will be faithful and honest with you. I love your style and everything about you. On top of all that the sex is great.

My explanation of the explanation: Sex, fidelity, sex, fidelity, Supreme Alphabet.

So what did I learn?

From Method Man: be there, be present, he likes his lady.

From Rap Genius: Be faithful, sex is cool and … I dunno, mostly I’m just worried about whoever wrote these explanations. Are you okay, man? You probably need to work through some stuff before you continue dating.

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