“I woke up like this, I woke up like this,” was hashtag brilliance. Now for us commoners who don’t wake up looking like Beyoncé, there’s ‘Morning Face – Beyoncé Flawless Parody.’ The humorous ladies of Emotistyle are pajama-clad, hair-tousled, makeup-free, and picking out their eye crust, and we couldn’t love them more.
The comedians behind the clip, Molly Austin and Shamikah Martinez, spend 3,276 hours of their life grooming just like the rest of us.
Molly: If you add up all the hours I’ve taken to get ready, I could’ve been a Black Belt Dojo master by now.
Shamikah: After my curly hair is dry and curly, I re-curl it with a hot stick for 45 minutes.
Our society holds pretty high standards of beauty for women. I like to claim that I’m low maintenance, but I definitely did not wake up like this. Mascara and under eye concealer, six minutes of prep. Drying my Afro with a diffuser claw, another 10 minutes. If I was truly low-maintenance none of that would boost my confidence, but it does.
Let’s talk about sex! Specifically, the morning-after when there’s a naked body sleeping next to you. My personal favorite insecurity is the hair. I can slyly slip a piece of gum in my mouth or diminish the eye mess, but my hair is the wild card. Here’s a lesson: the way an Afro dries is the way it stays—until you sleep on it and wake up with a lopsided pseudo-mullet!
And the way we look in the morning matters the most when waking up next to an “overnight visitor” for the first time. You wake-up and your eyeliner has now smudged across your cheeks, and into the inner crevice of your eye where it’s become gooey. Your breath is reminiscent of that last beer cocktail you ordered the night before. All of this is making you freak out that if the person next to you sees you like this they are never going to call again. I think I’ll replay ‘Morning Face’ before any big nights out from now on, because:
Shamikah: Ladies, tell ‘em: I woke up like this!
Molly: That’s just what your face looks like. Sorry.
But not really.
[h/t Huffington Post]