The 2012 Oscars (or The 84th Annual Academy Awards if you’re scouring the DVR listings to find it) are this Sunday night. You’ve probably already made your Oscar pool picks (or plan to root for that one movie you actually saw). But what does your choice for Best Picture reflect on you in the dating pool?
Here (in reverse alphabetical order — which also closely resembles the odds scoresheet) is a guide to this year’s nominees and what your Best Pic pick says about you:
You can see it in your eyes; you are an old soul (or just old). You love sweeping crane shots and music swells as much as you want to be swept away or use the word “swell.” You need a stable partner (sorry) who will let your mane flow free and uh… maintain your coat.
The Tree of Life
You are very artsy – maybe TOO artsy – the kind who finds meaning in most anything. (Even long stretches of plotless screensavers.) You appreciate the odd, unexpected, misunderstood and would love to plant roots with someone who appreciates that. (Or you’d go lengths to stare at Brad Pitt.)
You are patient and let things unfold as they may. You don’t need to win every time because you know it’s a numbers game and you’ll get your chance at the plate. (Like when your boyfriend dragged you to this, and you didn’t mind time to stare at Brad Pitt.)
Midnight in Paris
You are the classic “born in the wrong era” type of person. Some may say you’re neurotic, but you long for the simpler times when men dressed up and DRANK and women waxed poetic and looked pretty. Seek your match on a late-night stroll — maybe even in the rain.
Some may brand you childish or immature, but you like to think you’re child-like and young at heart. You love adventure and mystery and would likely be fine with just someone to play with. When the time is right, you will find someone who has the key that can unlock your heart.
You have a steady moral compass and believe in justice and equality. You’re a good person who does what is right, but can cook up a little sass if it’s called for. Your strength comes from within and via your peers, so you don’t need that from your mate. They should just know: you is kind, you is smart and you is important.
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
You’re an extremely deep and incredibly learned individual (the kind who can pronounce “learned”). You could be considered a downer or morose even, but you find nothing wrong with letting yourself feel your emotions; you don’t mind a good cry (even 23). Through the worst days, you want someone who can always make you smile.
You’re deep too and also learned but in a younger, hipper way. You have an independent spirit and your dating life could probably be underscored with some folky music in a really cool montage way. You want someone who can still look good when they grey. (Or you just need any excuse to devour George Clooney with your eyes for 2 hours.)
You’re a romantic. You like the good old fashioned song and dance and oh how you swoon for a love story. Dress to the nines, because you’re almost a sure thing — in a classy way, of course. Your partner should be able to express their love to you — even without words.
Ernio Hernandez is a Leo and likes long walks on the beach (minus the walking). He is a lover (and a writer) of pop culture, arts & entertainment and social media. Follow him: at ernio.com, on Twitter @ernio and mashismo.tumblr.com – just not into the bathroom.